My advice to young women in Third World cities
By Sam Zanahar (2007)
I make a living from giving advice to men from rich, Western, industrialized nations who hunt for sexual adventures in poor Third World countries.
To the contrary, my advice to young women in poor Third World countries is free. Unfortunately, not many of them will read it, because they don't speak English and/or don't have Internet access, and if they do, then, unfortunately, their interest will rather be in soap opera stars than philosophy.
About eighty percent of all young men in modern Third World cities have nothing. Most of all, no money. No own home. And usually no job.
But raging testosterone, and a strong urge to mate.
And one more thing they have in abundance: time. Time, for example, to flirt girls.
Life is difficult for most growing-up daughters in the large modern cities of Third World countries. They live in crowded family homes, often with plenty of sisters and brothers. Everybody around them, and they themselves, know that the only appropriate path for them is to find a decent husband. Somebody with the means to support a family, with a home, a job, and a "responsible" character. At the same time, young women in Third World countries are often closely guarded. Fathers and brothers are all too aware that on every corner, there is a young man who wouldn't mind the opportunity.
Therefore, the dilemma of young women in Third World cities is one of double restrictions: they don't have as many opportunities to mingle with young men as do young women in Western countries, and the number of "qualified" young men is a very small percentage indeed.
The typical pressure of parents is for her to become the wife of a man who puts her in the position to support the parents in old age. In short: to marry a rich man. Or at least: to marry upward. But to marry upward isn't only a material imperative; it's also a question of general success. If neighbors already can't compete by comparing the makes of their cars, they at least can through comparing whose daughter got the better husband.
But simple arithmetic proves that when some 80 percent of all young men are not "qualified", no 100 percent of young women can marry upward.
When in the frame of mind to resign to the fact that a rich spouse will likely not come her way, a young woman in a Third World city, will typically lower her expectations: if a dream man will not be available, then at least he should be a "responsible" man. One who is willing to work, even if it isn't in an ideal job, and who brings his salary home (instead of spending it with friends).
Young men in modern Third World cities know what young women want to hear. Because only by uttering all the right words will they ever land a lay: "I love you. Of course I already had girlfriends. But you are different. You are the first girl I really love. And the only thing I hope for is to be your husband until I die. But I have no money. Not even a job. But I would take any job that is available to support my wife and my family. Because for me, all that counts is my wife and my family. And all of this because of you."
Of course, what actually is in his mind rather sounds like this: "How long and how much will I have to talk until I can fuck you? Why are you so damned difficult? How many times will I have to tell you that I love you until you will let me have it?"
A young woman always has one trump card. He wants in. When the card is played, she can't play it a second time. A woman who has granted intercourse once cannot hold a man if she refuses it the next time. Furthermore, in a typical Third World modern city setting, the longer they carry on, the more the balance will be tilted in the young man's favor. His sexual interest will decline. He will be less inclined to make good on his promises. What was that, about taking any job to earn some money? In a typical Third World metropolis, the longer they carry on without getting married, the slimmer the chances that they actually will marry. In a typical Third World metropolis, jobs for young men are hard, and not very well paid. It's easier to hang around, to flirt with girls, and to borrow money from the one, one has already laid (and who hopes that he will marry her anyway).
The brothels of modern Third World cities are populated by women who have fallen for a young man's sweet words, who may have been officially married or who, more likely, may have just run away with a young, so-called "husband", and who have been abandoned after having given birth to a child. My educated guess is that most of the women in the brothels of modern Third World cities don't fit the pattern that makes headlines in the Western press: they were not abducted from their parents' homes and sold into prostitution.
My advice to young women in Third World cities may seem overly conservative, but it's the advice I would give to my own daughters in large Third World cities: Play your most valuable trump card wisely. If you are courted by a poor young men, don't let him have it until he has entered an official, parent-approved marriage with you. The risk that otherwise, you may end up with a child but no committed male partner is just too great.
You can take certain risks if the young man who courts you is not the common no-money, no-job type. Which doesn't mean that you should let any rich man have it just like that.
If a Western man comes along, well, if he is willing to marry you, or shows commitment, that would be a nice catch. And if you have a child with him, even outside of formal wedlock, he will probably be more likely to support you and the child than a rich local man who will be far more accustomed to the fact that he can lay many young women, and even impregnate them, without later having to provide support (the girl gambled and lost)
No, by and large, it's not pretty to be a poor young woman in a large Third World city. So, my advice is to prepare yourself for the option of staying single. You may be better off than with a run-of-the-mill poor Third World man.
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