Men have traditionally been touted as the ‘hungry for sex’ species. With a comparatively higher sex drive than their female partner, men are often expected to assume charge while performing in bed and are held responsible for a gratifying act too.
But why are men having all the fun? Women too can act bold when it comes to showing off their sex drive. But how?
Dr. Deepak Arora, a sexologist elucidates, “Men love their wives to have sex and wives have sex to get love from their men, in this way they become a supplement for each other. So if the female partner starts taking an equal interest in the act of intimacy; it can bring them closer to each other and they can enjoy a healthy sexual relationship.”
Relationship and sex counselor Dr. Geetu Bhardwaj supports, “Gone are the days when a ‘high sex drive’ was considered a male prerogative. With various sexual techniques and arousal methods, even women can enhance their sex appeal and thus give their sex drive a much needed boost. Once women empower themselves to take charge in bed, they can overtake men not only in their sex drive, but also in sexual performance.”
Breaking away from the preset notion of ‘men are sexually more active’, we get experts to share ways as to how a woman can overtake her man in sex drive…
Take charge of foreplay: Men, in general, are not overtly interested in prolonged foreplay. So it comes as an added advantage for women to give a push to their sex drive and initiate the primary foreplay. Sex therapist Dr. Devesh Roy advices, “Women must keep in mind that the arousing acts should be intense so that the man feels that you are fully charged up for a steamy session in bed. Do not focus much on unnecessary things like cooking a meal etc that may mar the mood before it actually gets going.”
Plan for a sensuous night: You’d have often seen in Bollywood flicks that the hero is decorating the room for a night of passion and is going all out to woo his lady love with surprise gifts. But why do men make way for these sexual fantasies? It’s time for women to let their wild imagination spread its magic. Relationship and sex counselor Dr. Geetu Bhardwaj opines, “Keeping their sexual desires on a high, women can plan for opulent bedroom settings whereby they can have everything that hints towards their sexual desire. Right from dim lights and aroma oils to fragrant rose petals and orchids strands; create an atmosphere that is conducive for a lovemaking night.”
Dress attractively: Quite often, women feel low on sex drive because they feel less sexy and attractive from inside. Hence, they wait for men to pamper them and make them feel wanted. Dr. Amita Mishra, a relationship expert however states, “Looking attractive in sexy attires like a bikini or see-through lingerie ignites the female sexual desire to get intimate with their partner and vice-versa. Even if your man is not interested in sex on a particular night, there are chances that your dressing provocatively will arouse them for a sexual session.”
Exchange naughty gestures: While men always boast of their sex drive through gestures like tickling, caressing, kissing, whispering and at times publicly displaying their affection, women too should try shedding their inhibitions and acting a bit naughty. While having dinner, women can try holding their mate’s hands or giving them a surprise hug when he’s shirtless right after a shower. “These sexual gestures act as clear indications that a woman is much more aroused as compared to the man. This high sex drive gets translated into a wonderful chemistry in the bedroom while having sex,” feels Dr. Roy.
Make kissing a memorable experience: Passionate kissing works wonders in your sexual paradise, but again don’t let your man make the first move. Make him feel that you know much more than him when it comes to kissing. Try different kinds of kisses and drive him crazy. “Kissing is a quintessential part of foreplay, the actual act and after-sex moments. Women can use kissing as a weapon to stimulate their partners and at the same time also experiment with newer ways of kissing to leave their partner utterly surprised,” suggests Dr. Geetu.
Don’t insist too much on contraception: A short cut to let your man know that you’re equally, or more, ravenous for sex is to let the things happen without much of interruption. While performing in bed, women must not insist too much on using protection and just try to enjoy the act. “Continuous reminders about using contraception make a man feel that the woman is not keen on sex and is rather overtly worried about the aftermath. So it’s suggested that the pleasurable moments should be performed sans any hindrance to show a woman’s craving for sex,” says Dr. Amita.
NE women being trafficked to South India
India, May 3, 2016 – Assam Tribune
GUWAHATI, May 3 – The coastal areas of the southern India are the new hotspot for sex trafficking involving young girls and women from the North East, especially Assam.
According to a fresh finding, hundreds of girls and women are now being sourced from Assam to States like Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka, to be forced into the flesh trade.
The ugly and hitherto unknown dimension of sex trade, involving victims mostly from Assam, has been brought to light by a team of researchers and activists from Nobel Laureate Kailash Satyarthi’s NGO Bachpan Bachao Andolan (BBA).
A yet-to-be-released report of the BBA has found large-scale trafficking of young girls and women from Assam and its neighbouring areas, to States like Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu and Karnataka.
The findings suggest that there is now a huge demand for young girls and women from the North East in the sex trade in South India, which was hardly known till recently.
Researchers and activists working on the issue have also reported an alarming exodus of young girls and women from Assam to South India in the last couple of years, where they are forced into prostitution and even marriage, besides being exploited as cheap work force in garment industries.
Investigation made by the BBA team found that the victims from Assam and some other parts of the North East have been sold to unscrupulous elements operating in those areas, after which they were subjected to both physical and sexual exploitation.
“During day time, they are employed in garment factories and other allied industries, and at night they are sexually exploited. It’s a very new and disturbing trend witnessed in the southern part of India,” Rakesh Senger, head of the victims’ assistance cell of BBA, told The Assam Tribune.
Places in close proximity to Coimbatore have large-scale presence of trafficked young girls from Assam, he said.
Till recently, it was mostly to the North India that victims from the North East were lured with promises of lucrative jobs and better lifestyle. The developments in the southern India are certainly new and alarming, Senger said, adding, “The report that we are compiling will carry upsetting and unknown facets of sex trade involving girls from the North East India.”
He said that the traffickers now use new routes and the Rangiya station is one of the major transit routes.
In view of the trend witnessed in southern India, the BBA has decided to impart training to the law-enforcers, especially those dealing with human trafficking and flesh trade.
He also stated that besides the North East, a few case involving women from Sunderban and Malda has also been found, but largely, the demand is mostly for those from the North East.
A senior police officer, when asked, said that although police has no concrete information about this trend, they would certainly look into the matter. He agreed that apart from the vulnerable areas where displacement has taken place on a large scale, trafficking from other districts like Bongaigaon and Kamrup is also rampant.
Pills & shots to maintain IS sex-slave supply
India, March 3, 2016 – Telegraph India
Dohuk (Iraq) March 13: Locked inside a room where the only furniture was a bed, the 16-year-old learned to fear the sunset, because nightfall started the countdown to her next rape.
During the year she was held by the Islamic State, she spent her days dreading the smell of the IS fighter’s breath, the disgusting sounds he made and the pain he inflicted on her body. More than anything, she was tormented by the thought she might become pregnant with her rapist’s child.
It was the one thing she needn’t have worried about.
Soon after buying her, the fighter brought the teenage girl a round box containing four strips of pills, one of them coloured red.
“Every day, I had to swallow one in front of him. He gave me one box per month. When I ran out, he replaced it. When I was sold from one man to another, the box of pills came with me,” explained the girl, who learned only months later that she was being given birth control.
It is a particularly modern solution to a medieval injunction: According to an obscure ruling in Islamic law cited by the IS, a man must ensure that the woman he enslaves is free of child before having intercourse with her.
To keep the sex trade running, the IS fighters have aggressively pushed birth control on their victims so they can continue the abuse unabated while the women are passed among them.
More than three dozen Yazidi women who recently escaped the IS and who agreed to be interviewed for this article described the numerous methods the fighters used to avoid pregnancy, including oral and injectable contraception, and sometimes both. In at least one case, a woman was forced to have an abortion to make her available for sex, and others were pressured to do so.
Some described how they knew they were about to be sold when they were driven to a hospital to give a urine sample to be tested for the hCG hormone, whose presence indicates pregnancy.
They awaited their results with apprehension: A positive test would mean they were carrying their abuser’s child; a negative result would allow IS fighters to continue raping them.
The rules have not been universally followed, with many women describing being assaulted by men who were either ignorant of the injunction or defiant of it.
But over all, the methodical use of birth control during at least some of the women’s captivity explains what doctors caring for recent escapees observed: Of the more than 700 rape victims from the Yazidi ethnic group who have sought treatment so far at a United Nations-backed clinic in northern Iraq, just 5 per cent became pregnant during their enslavement, according to Nagham Nawzat, the gynaecologist carrying out the examinations.
It is a stunningly low figure given that the normal fertility rate for a young woman is between 20 per cent and 25 per cent in any given month, four to five times the rate that has been recorded so far, said Nezar Ismet Taib, who heads the ministry of health directorate in Dohuk, which oversees the clinic where the victims are being treated.
“We were expecting something much higher,” he said.
The captured teenage girl, who agreed to be identified by her first initial, M., has the demeanour of a child and wears her hair in a bouncy ponytail. She was sold a total of seven times. When prospective buyers came to inquire about her, she overheard them asking for assurances that she was not pregnant, and her owner provided the box of birth control as proof.
That was not enough for the third man who bought her, she said. He quizzed her on the date of her last menstrual cycle and, unnerved by what he perceived as a delay, gave her a version of the so-called morning-after pill, causing her to start bleeding.
Even then, he seemed unsatisfied.
Finally he came into her room, closed the door and ordered her to lower her pants. The teenager feared she was about to be raped. Instead, he pulled out a syringe and gave her a shot on her upper thigh. It was a 150-milligram dose of Depo-Provera, an injectable contraceptive, a box of which she showed to a reporter.
“To make sure you don’t get pregnant,” she recalled him saying.
When he had finished, he pushed her back onto the bed and raped her for the first time.
SLEUTHS QUIZ PRAKASH WHO UNCOVERED SEX CD SCANDAL
India, September 03, 2016 – Daily Pioneer
A day after the Delhi Police Crime Branch constituted a special investigation team to probe the “objectionable” CD controversy which led to sacking of AAP Minister Sandeep Kumar, the sleuths questioned Om Prakash who claimed to have uncovered the scandal.
Kumar, Social Welfare Minister, was sacked by Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal on August 31 after a CD purportedly showing him in a compromising position with women was made public.
The decision to sack the Minister was taken at a high- level meeting attended by top AAP leaders.
According to officials, Prakash told police that some unknown person had given him the CD a few days ago along with other documents. The CD reportedly showed Kumar in a compromising position and also carried some objectionable photographs.
Prakash is a wholesaler of wood coal in Sultanpur Majra, which is Kumar’s constituency. Prakash has been operating there for the last 35 years.
Prakash also claimed that he approached Kejriwal but to no avail. Later, when Prakash heard the report of dropping Kumar from the Cabinet, he appeared before the media to talk about how he stumbled upon a sex CD allegedly showing Kumar with two different women in a video and a set of pictures.
A delegation of Delhi BJP leaders have met Delhi Police Commissioner Alok Kumar Verma and lodged a complaint against the sacked AAP Minister. After their complaint, the probe was handed over to Crime Branch.
Taj Hassan, Special Commissioner of Police (crime) said, “A team lead by DCP (Crime) Bhishma Singh will probe into all aspects of the case. We will take action as per law.”
“We are at a nascent stage in the investigation. Nothing can be said as of now. Preliminary investigation has given us some leads,” the Special CP said.
The CD will be sent for forensic tests to verify its authenticity. The team has begun probing the source of the CD and how it was circulated, said a senior police official.
The team will be investigating whether the women in the CD were victims or they were a party to the episode. Kumar might also be called for questioning, police said.
The Malawi teen fighting sex initiation customs
Africa, October 12, 2016 – BBC
Nineteen-year-old Memory Banda is a gender rights activist who fights against the age-old custom in Malawi of sending girls to so-called “initiation camps” after they start their first period.
The camps aim is to teach girls their “duties as wives” and how to please a man sexually.
This is part a regular series on African Women You Need to Know.